Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
