Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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