Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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