I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
