normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
