I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
