no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
