I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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