Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
