can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
