So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
