Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
