we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
