it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
