Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
