you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
