I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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