I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
