so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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