i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
