help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
