stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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