what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
