talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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