I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
