I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
