Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This is the high leading the old right now
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
