Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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