I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
