D3 body, D1 cock
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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