this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
