Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
