I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm always down for nudity.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
