y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
