And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
