My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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