Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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