its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
