my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
