i jhust puked up my retainher.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Mom said you looked used
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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