Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
