I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
