Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
