when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
