I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
