i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
