it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
50% drunk capacity currently
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
