ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
