The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm bleeding and have questions
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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