I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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