and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
