Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
