Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
