I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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