Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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